- 15-year-old me: MOM I'm practically an ADULT ugggh you never let me do ANYTHING in olden times i could get MARRIED *eye roll into another dimension*
- me now: for my birthday i want food and to stay on your health insurance
- high school teacher: yeah i have a 4 year degree so you can call me Mr. Whatshisname and if you call me Frank that's disrespectful I'll give you detention for a week
- college professor: hi i've got my Ph.D., i spent 10 years doing research, i have 7 patents and 26 published papers, and i was nationally recognized for my work. but you can call me Kim if you want.
- Me: *during sex* ....i think i hear someone coming....
- girl: ....who?
- me: MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *bust nut*
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